I wasn’t good at saying no until I was in my 30s. I also never thought about why I should say no or what the benefits of saying no could have on my well-being.
Most of my 20s were spent getting involved in projects that I was less than enthused about, pleasing others, and doing things that didn’t align with my future life design.
To be honest by the time I hit the age of 30 I was a burned-out mess.
I had worked in my business since I was 17 and had all of the pressures of family life, entrepreneurship, and self-degradation.
It wasn’t until I started making serious efforts to simplify my life that I gained clarity. This is when I learned the benefits of saying no.
Learning to say no was part of a turning point in my mission to have a more fulfilling life. A life with less stress and busyness. A life full of happiness and meaningful work.
In this post, we’re going to talk about the art of saying no. The benefits of using the word no, along with how to use it effectively and without guilt.
So let’s jump into The Life-Changing Power Of Saying No. If this is something you have struggled with I think you will find this article useful.
The Benefits of Saying No
Saying no to most things has numerous benefits. It’s important to think positively, and this is why we need to keep the benefits of saying no in mind. We’ll talk about guilt a little later.
The benefits of saying no include:
- Saying no gives us more time to do what’s important and keeps less on our plate.
- It increases our focus on projects and commitments that we’re enthused about.
- It helps us have more control over our life.
- Others have more respect for us when we don’t say yes to every little thing.
- Saying no builds confidence, helping us make better decisions in the future.
- The word no helps keep the important things front and center, letting us work towards our future life design.
Using the word no creates abundance and slack. It creates time to do meaningful things that improve our lives. Saying no helps us achieve our goals.
When someone asks us to commit to something we’re not interested in or take on a project that doesn’t align us with our future goals it sucks precious resources. It drains us of time, energy, mental bandwidth, and so on.
Simply put, there are a lot of benefits to saying no.
How to Say No Like a Pro
Okay, so now we’ve discussed the benefits of saying no and now it’s time to execute. Most things in life should be a hell yes or hell no. If we’re not excited and enthusiastic about something then we shouldn’t take on the obligation. If it’s not a hell yes then it doesn’t fit into our life design.
Saying no is simple, and can be put in many different ways but I think this method is the most effective.
When someone asks you to do something that you don’t want to do or don’t have time for, the trick is, to be honest, and direct.
If someone asks you to get involved in something simply tell them: no I don’t have the time or, no I don’t think I’m interested.
Speak clearly and decisively. Never backtrack or be wishy-washy and only change your mind when it makes complete and absolute sense.
Choosing to give an explanation is up to you but not necessary.
In reality, you have to be a hard ass. You need to stand your ground and say no thanks. Not interested.
That’s how to say no.
It’s as simple as that.
One of the benefits of saying no to someone or something is that we are showing the world that we respect our time and we are focused on what is important to us.
If we don’t respect our own time we can’t expect others to respect it as well.
Why It’s Hard to Say No
The number one reason people find it hard to say no is guilt.
We feel guilty saying no because we feel like we’re letting someone down. We feel like we are disappointing the other person.
Letting Go of Guilt
Guilt is something that is 100% in our control and often unnecessary.
As I’ve said many times in this post, there is only so much time and energy. We only have one life to live and It’s important to use that time as wisely as possible.
It’s OK to be selfish in order to achieve our goals. Selfishness is often a driving force in what gets things done. Be selfish once in a while.
FOMO
The second reason it’s hard to say the word no is FOMO or fear of missing out.
I have a hard time with this one.
Like I seriously get myself into some shit.
For example, someone comes along and asks me to be involved in a project at work. I’m really not into it however FOMO starts to creep in. I start thinking of the money I could make, or the awareness it could create for my business.
I say yes.
Mistake.
Now I’m committed, however, my heart’s not in it. It starts to suck. I start thinking of the things that I’d rather be doing and suddenly the money isn’t worth it and I don’t care about the awareness.
FOMO got me again.
Recognizing
The important thing here is to recognize why we are having these feelings and to examine our motivations when saying yes to something.
Am I saying yes because I don’t want to feel guilty about letting someone down? Or am I afraid I am going to miss out on an opportunity?
Chances are if we let guilt and FOMO persuade our decisions we will regret our decision to say yes.
Carefully Consider a Yes
It’s important for us to carefully consider saying yes to something.
Check your motivations when making a decision and make sure guilt and FOMO are not part of the equation.
Ask yourself if it’s a hell yes or hell no and if the commitment aligns with your future life design.
Say yes to the things that you find value in, and no to the things you don’t.
The End Result
The benefits of saying no are powerful. The word no can contribute to increased productivity, happiness, and our overall quality of life.
Saying no helps keep things simple and frees up time. It helps with self-confidence and lets us respect the time that’s been given to us.
Overcoming guilt and being aware of FOMO helps us make better decisions.
Thanks for reading. For thoughts and comments @ me on Twitter.