The middle is purgatory. It is a hell-like spot where everything is miserable but not so insufferable that it can’t be tolerated. There isn’t enough pain, just low-grade angst, and not enough discomfort to drive a person to make disruptive changes that would ultimately improve one’s circumstances. Making tough changes seems more painful than the middle.
It is a job we hate but keep because it pays good money. It is a relationship that sucks the energy out of our souls but we’re afraid of being alone. It is the daily routine we sleepwalk through to earn our pay and earn our right to go comatose in front of a screen on a nightly basis. These things are the middle.
Living on the edges seems hard. A happy marriage takes effort and being single can be lonely but still, avoid the middle at all costs.
Some would argue the middle is where you find balance and that may be true. However, balanced people rarely accomplish extraordinary things. There is value in obsession. There has to be lust before love. Hunger before a feast. Insatiable curiosity before an epiphany.
More Examples of the Middle
Killing Time
It is succumbing to the allure of mindless distractions instead of confronting the world. Those who kill time are living in the middle. Instead of being proactive about the direction of our lives, we go about our days like a zombie. We are living life on repeat waiting for some external force to give us a sign or show us the way.
Killing time is a coping mechanism for those who don’t know what direction to move in. Some use it as a way to avoid the pain of making tough decisions altogether.
Talking About Doing the Thing Instead of Actually Doing the Thing
My friend wants to start an online business. He paid for a domain and web hosting over two years ago. And although this friend frequently talks about getting this business going, nothing has been accomplished. Like that person who always talks about quitting their job and traveling the world, he talks about doing the thing instead of just doing the thing.
Talking about doing the things you’ve always dreamed of is a form of living in the middle. We do it because it’s easier than taking a leap.
Anything That Causes Chronic Misery
An unhappy marriage, a job you dislike, and anything that makes you feel drained. If you feel stuck in something you are living in the middle. No one is stuck and there are no have-to’s. Everyone has choices.
Living a Double Life
Most people live a double life. The one they are living and the one they secretly wish they had the guts to live. This is a form of living in middle and a failure to be intentional about living a well-designed life.
How to Avoid the Middle
Either stay in your relationship or don’t. Put in the effort to make it an epic love story or leave the relationship altogether. Avoid the middle. The same goes for your career. Put in the effort to be the best at what you do or quit. Avoid the middle. Be intentional about how you’re living and be proactive when facing the world. Take the trip, start the business, and move in silence. Don’t talk about what you are going to do, just do what you are going to do.
The middle is a half-measure whereas a well-lived life requires absolute full measures.